It is a wrong choice, move on

Time flies, it's almost September now.. Stayed at home during the weekends and stupidly went to watch Conjuring with a bunch of nuts friends.. I have no idea why people loves it. I detest being frightened! Spent my entire weekend cleaning up my closet, cabinets and every single inch. I came upon my planner for this year and read through what I've exactly done this year.. During the first half of the year, I travelled almost every month to Bangkok, China and New Zealand. I dread going to Bangkok so much that I swear I am not going again even if it's free. Indeed, I completed 1 of my resolution thus far, and that is travelling to 2 countries which I've never been this year. But I looked across my resolutions, I found that I've not been making efforts to accomplish my resolutions. Perhaps I've lost my self-motivation or maybe I just wanted it at that moment... I don't know cause I used to be motivated by myself doing workouts religiously, getting what I want, having extra $$$ to save and eating healthily. Maybe I'm zonked into wrong accompanies who doesn't motivates me, or maybe I am just zonked this year. I find no sense of accomplishment at work at all. And maybe, I just need someone to tell me "it is a wrong choice, move on".

Undoubtedly, I went for a BMI check today.. I was so surprised by how underweight I was. I used to weigh 48, but now I am 44? That's underweight! My BMI is currently 17.44 now. That was madness. And then I realised, I am not happy at all throughout all this time.. Actually I've realised this issue, but I refused to solve this issue and even when I speak about this issue, nobody seems to help. But now, I am going to say it is a wrong choice, move on then. It's so much better to be healthy, being organised in life and most importantly to love myself. I hope I'm able to make up for all the time I've wasted all this time and bring myself forward! Looking forward to make every single resolutions done and hopefully reward myself to a holiday! I wish you well and thank you for reading my bad rants. This post is dedicated to myself to be better! 

"You never knows who's swimming naked until the tide goes low."

Love,

Jiaxin